Doula Talk

Well, as some of you know this past week I gave my letter of resignation to the school board and officially ended my career as an EA (not that I'd worked much in the last 8 years). It was a short career, but it helped me to grow and I was challenged by it and loved it for a time. That time has moved on. I remember in school hearing people say that it was likely we would change careers 5 times (I think that was the number). I didn't believe it for a second. I thought I would always work with kids. I never imagined that my passion would shift from working with kids to working with women (with some baby snuggling thrown in too :). In some ways I wish I had known in high school that I was going to be so enthralled by the world of birth, but I had no clue until I had my own babies. In fact I recall growing up being absolutely terrified by the idea of a baby growing to be 7 lbs (or more) and 20 inches or so and then having to push that baby out of my body. I always thought it must be so terrifying to know that the only way to get that baby out would be to push it out, or have surgery (neither option sounded good to me at all!). I try to remember back to when I was first pregnant with Izzy and I vaguely remember those feelings of terror returning, but I think it was more the idea of being completely responsible for another human being that scared me...and also the pain of childbirth.

Yes, when I think back to my life 10 years ago, I certainly never would have been able to picture myself where I am today: living in Clinton, doing church out of my home and being a birth doula, even teaching classes to groups of adults (shudder). It's strange how God has brought these things into my life that I never would have imagined or chosen for myself if I had looked ahead at the age of 23. I wouldn't change any of it though. Even though doula work can be extremely stressful for me (waiting for weeks wondering if I'll have childcare when I need it or attending difficult births that last for more than 24 hours), I can't imagine NOT being a doula. I love it. I love serving women when they are at their most vulnerable. I love being able to take care of them, to whisper words of encouragement, to cool a sweaty brow, to provide counterpressure on an aching back or hips until my arms are shaking with fatigue. Most of all I love to see the pride in their faces when they hold their new baby for that very first time...it's miraculous. I can't imagine why everyone wouldn't want to be a part of that adventure. It still blows me away when I am hired by a brand new couple that I've just met and I wonder why on earth I have the privelige to be part of such an intimate and important event in their lives.

Then there's the other side of the coin...feeling helpless in situations where we see women being misinformed, or not getting the care they so desperately want from the medical staff. It's hard to watch and support a woman who feels that her caregiver doesn't understand her, or care about her wishes and needs. It's frustrating when I feel that all I can do is pray for that woman (and her partner), but pray I do. It's the one thing that I can always do. When things get scary (and I've seen many of those), I pray. Sometimes out loud, but always in my head. Birth is such a wonderfully terrifying event. So many aspects you just have no control over...so all you can do is pray, and trust, and hope. WOW. For a control freak like me, this is definitely a job that stretches me in every way possible.

Last year was a great year: 8 babies in 10 months. I like to take July and August off if I can (although I'm not good at saying no) and I generally only take one client a month, so last year was a busy year! This year I had a baby in February, one due anyday now, 2 in June and one booked for November. Looks like another busy year. So I decided to take my name off the EA supply list and devote myself to staying home and doing my doula business. One birth a month sure doesn't sound like much, but when each client has at least 4 visits outside of the actual birth it gets pretty busy. I can't imagine how doulas do it that take 3 or more clients a month. Just writing the birth stories alone take me several evenings to complete.

So, I've been out of university for 9 years now (wow, I'm getting old :) and I've already changed careers once...maybe it's not so far fetched after all. Although I can't imagine ever wanting to do anything outside of the world of childbirth. I see myself possibly expanding my services as the kids start going to school full time. Maybe teaching some prenatal classes of my own, doing some more postpartum work, who knows. For now my life is full, and very, very fulfilling :)

Mel