Where do I begin??

Hey faithful readers,

I know it's been a long time...almost a full week, since I've written. WOW. There have been a lot of things going through my head in the last six days I don't know where to begin. I can't write about it all at once, so I'll just go in order.

Late last week my friend Dianne came over with her little girl Kaitlin. Lyric and Kaitlin had fun playing in the sandbox in the backyard. It was a gorgeous day, but HOT!!


Kaitlin letting me know what she thinks of the camera :)


Lyric enjoying the sunshine...hair blowing in the breeze :)

Friday I visited my client, and she wasn't feeling well at all, so I figured she would have her baby soon. Joel was all worried he would miss the demolition derby and kept saying I should tell her to wait until after midnight to go into labour. I never did tell her that, but oddly enough, that's when things started.

It was a wonderful birth (more on all that later...not details, but my reactions and struggles). Unfortunately I missed the entire fair!! We had planned to have breakfast at my friend Jenn's house (which I was really looking forward to!). Then head to the parade at noon, then spend the afternoon at the fair enjoying the rides and the fair treats. Well, all that happened, just without me. Don't get me wrong, witnessing the birth of a baby is absolutely incredible, but I did feel a little sorry for myself since I missed the big Clinton event for the year. That's the way my last three births have gone. My January client delivered on my anniversary (which Joel spent alone), my May client was in labour the evening we had actually booked a babysitter and had plans to go on a date!! (Joel ended up going without me..which I was glad about. It was an event in Clinton and he took his cousin). Now this one happened the day of the fair. I guess I should expect to miss things since my schedule has pretty much got something on it for every single day.

I'm really not whining...just making an observation :)

I had a rough day on Sunday...really rough. Some of it had to do with plain exhaustion after the birth, but I was a mess. I could have cried and cried, and didn't really know why. It wasn't one thing, it was just a lot of things, all at once, just getting me down. Thankfully after having some awesome talks with my darling hubby, my girlfriends Kim, Angelle and Monica, I've been coming around. It's hard to describe what I was going through, but it wasn't good!

After talking with Angelle last night, I think my biggest problem was that I was too focused on myself. Do you ever notice that you really lose perspective when you're always self-evaluating? But when you focus on other people, and loving others, it brings so much more joy to your life? I was driving myself crazy with wondering what people thought of me, questioning my motives for everything I was doing, and feeling insecure that I lost sight of what was really important. I felt so far from God, and logically I knew He hadn't gone anywhere, that it was me who had drifted away, but I still didn't know how to change it. Actually, I knew that I couldn't change it on my own, I needed His help. He sent me friends, and a great peace. He's such a great God!!

So, this week has been full as well, but it's been good stuff. Visiting my newest doula baby, having tea parties with girlfriends, dining out with Angelle, and hanging out with Joel and the kids. The weather today is absolutely perfect and I'm getting some stuff done around the house.

Life is good again.

Melanie